Cool liquor. Cult horror.

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? An update from your bartender!

Posted on Sep 2, 2014 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

It’s been a ghost town here at the Tavern of Terror, and I don’t mean the good kind that come with a jar of ectoplasm and a cool song by Ray Parker Jr. I haven’t posted anything new on the webpage in almost five months whereas it wasn’t too long ago that I did a Weekly Horrorsphere Roundup. It’s been at least a year since I reviewed a fright flick, but let me assure you’ve I’ve still been deeply immersed in our beloved genre. Like many of you, I’m a hardcore horror fanatic – always have been and always will be. I’m a hopeless case that’s happy to be hopeless.

So, you might ask, where the hell have I been?

 

I’m all out of Swedish Fish.

I’m all out of Swedish Fish.

 

The real issue has become one of time; particularly the amount of it that I have to give to the ol’ creative juices. Long before I ventured into horror blogging I was a writer of fiction and I remain an author to this day. I am a horror, western and crime fiction author whose work has been published in many magazines and anthologies by Post Mortem Press, Dark Moon Books, Bloodbound Books, Spinetingler Magazine and more. Most recently I was published in D.O.A II: An Extreme Horror Anthology alongside Jack Ketchum and Wrath James White, and The Ghost is The Machine alongside Joe Hill, and my own short story collection is due for publication later this year by Blue Juice Books. I say all of this not to boast or anything like that, but to give you an understanding of where my true craft lies.

I enjoy reviewing strange flicks that pop up, and I love the idea I came up with for this webpage that reviews scary movies and suggests what beer to enjoy with them. However, the upkeep of running such a site had begun to pull me away from writing fiction. I became so engrossed in having an online audience to share my horror nerdom with that doing posts became an addiction that slurped up all my creative juices and dominated the free time I used to spend writing short stories, novels and screenplays. So, as much as I love Tavern of Terror, I have placed it on the backburner in my quest to create great new horrors of my own.

 

I contributed to this. How could I not?

I contributed to this. How could I not?

 

However, this does not mean that no new material will surface here.

I still plan to keep the site up, and to post articles, reviews and top ten lists when the mood strikes me. It’s just that lately, sadly, the mood of the horror community has left me rather morose. I don’t want to be just another horror nut running a blog that shamelessly praises every DVD release and new slasher toy that pops up. I don’t want to be a shill for big business, which has finally learned that there is a lot of money to be made off of us horror fanatics ($80 dollars for a DVD of Nightbreed? Go fuck yourself). Besides, does the Internet really need another horror-geek’s review of the rerelease of Curtains?

 

Meh, it’s okay, I guess.

Meh, it’s okay, I guess.

 

I’m not condemning any of the horror bloggers or sites that do any of this; I’m just saying it has never been for me. I’ve always wanted to take a more original approach than just jumping on the Blu-ray of the week and going over the HD transfer and aspect ratios. I enjoy unearthing my own forgotten horror treasures and reviewing them with a personal touch, a bit of humor, and a whole lot of booze. After all, it’s my page, I’m not going to write an article that I don’t enjoy writing, and I can’t enjoy writing what everyone else is writing.

 

Man, this “V/H/S” anthology movie really sucks.

Man, this “V/H/S” anthology movie really sucks.

 

I’ve had a lot an assload of fun with Tavern of Terror at conventions and festivals, and I’ve met a lot of great, likeminded people at them as well as through the webpage and Facebook (before it started hiding my page’s posts from nearly all of you, as it does with all pages now). I’ve made friends with some great fellow bloggers, artists, and film stars, and the whole experience has been enormously positive. But still I feel that there is a sort of staleness that has befallen the horror-blogging experience in the past year.

I have also failed to find a muse in modern horror films. I’m just an old fuddy-duddy in the respect that I expect horror movies to be… I dunno… good? I rented The Sacrament and thought it was excrement. I watched Discopath and it made me long for Disco Duck. Between these found-footage clusterfucks, uninspired remakes, idiotic shark fests, and the hurricane of staggeringly shitty filmmaking known as Rob Zombie, I feel that the genre is really in the toilet, as least as far as American horror cinema is concerned. All I would do in a review was spit venom at them, so why bother? Sure, I’m jaded fuck, but what can I say? I like my horror old school.

 

Although it doesn’t always have to be THIS old.

Although it doesn’t always have to be THIS old.

 

So, I sit at home and watch Brain Damage, Demons, and The Burning for the zillionth time. In the summer I run through my entire favorite Friday the 13th flicks (parts 1 through 6) and in the fall I savor the first four Halloween movies. I live in a rerun, but what a glorious rerun it is.

I go to conventions and more and more I’m seeing celebrities I don’t care about or don’t even recognize signing autographs. I feel like an old man when kids turn down their music.

 

“What the hell is this crap?! You call this horror?!”

 

You’re a bum, Rock!

You’re a bum, Rock!

 

I don’t mean to be so down on things, I just hold everything up to the very high standard set by horror films from the 70s and 80s. Unfortunately most of the time those expectations are met they’re films from Korea or France, and not from my sweet land of liberty. Call it delusional or conceited, but I like to think that I have some good ol’ American horror to put out there into the sphere, and I have simply chosen to put most of my focus into that. I’ve just today finished a new novella and I’m keeping all my toes and fingers crossed that a certain big publisher of horror fiction that I admire will pick it up. And while Wes Craven may not film one of my scripts anytime soon, being in a book with a genre heavyweight like Jack Ketchum is hardly something to scoff at, and neither is being printed by the same publisher that puts out books by scream queen Linnea Quigley.

 

Were Ketchum and I ever that young?

Were Ketchum and I ever that young?

 

So, there’s your update this fine Labor Day afternoon. Sure, it’s still hot as Laura Prepon out there but at least we know now that summer’s in its death throes and the magic of fall lurks around the corner. I do plan to throw some Halloween-related mayhem at y’all during the coming months, so keep checking back in, and I’ll keep you posted on my fiction writing too. There will be more articles, contests and even interviews in the future – just not as many as there once were, at least for a while.

I hope your frights are serving you well and that your mugs full of brew. Thanks for your patronage. See ya’ next time.

- Kris

 

hallowkris

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INTERVIEW WITH A SUCCUBUS

Posted on Apr 6, 2014 in 80's Horror, Featured, Interviews & Guest Posts | 2 comments

succubus

 

INTERVIEW WITH A SUCCUBUS

An interview with the original Girlfriend from Hell, Liane Curtis, who joins the tavern to talk mini-monsters, demonic possession and the horrors of big hair.

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THE MUSCLE OF HORROR RETURNS! An Interview with David Prior: Deadly Director

Posted on Feb 9, 2014 in Featured, Indie Horror, Interviews & Guest Posts, Muscle of Horror | 0 comments

An Interview with David Prior

If you consider yourself a videovore, a BETA collecting junkie, or even just a diehard fan of cult cinema, then there is no doubt you know the name David Prior. The writer-director has blessed the underground film scene with his wildly inventive work for three decades, and many of the movies he released during the VHS boom of the 1980’s have now become beloved cult classics. With such memorable films as Sledgehammer, Night Wars, Raw Justice and the infamous Deadly Prey, Prior has solidified himself as a film-wizard favorite among we subterraneous horror and exploitation fanatics.

David Prior

Last month, we at Tavern of Terror launched a new series of interviews exploring the subculture of horror film fans who also have a passion for fitness. I’m calling these articles The Muscle of Horror. I’m interviewing directors, musicians, writers and other talents to discuss their passion for imagination as well as fitness, and to examine how those two worlds come to collide.

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THE MUSCLE OF HORROR

Posted on Jan 4, 2014 in 80's Horror, Featured, Interviews & Guest Posts, Muscle of Horror, Music | 0 comments

moh-banner

 

No matter who you are or what you’re into, you’ll face stereotypes – the preconceived notions people have of whatever it is you’re supposed to be based on where you come from, what you like and do, and how you look.

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Vote for JAQ! Help Liane Curtis out!

Posted on Jan 3, 2014 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

Check this out and rock that vote!

My friend Liane Curtis (Critters 2, Girlfriend from Hell, Sons of Anarchy, Sixteen Candles) needs some help voting for her daughter JAQ on a show called:

American Stars in China.

Please vote Jacqueline Mackenzie into #1 spot. It is totally easy to vote, so let’s all help out this young talent!

 

Screen Shot 2014-01-03 at 11.46.13 AM

1 go to American Stars voting: http://star.icntv.net/

2 Scroll down UNDER THE VIDEO BOX to her photo (as pictured above)

3 Hit the red button under her photo

4 Fill in auto capture and hit enter

5 refresh your page and do it 5 more times

Let’s get her out of the hundreds and into the thousands! Let’s do it!

You can vote up to 6 times every day until 1/15/2013.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE NOW!

星光燦爛官方报名网站

jaqrox

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Married With Christmas

Posted on Dec 15, 2013 in Christmas, Horror for the Holidays, Interviews & Guest Posts, Nightmares in TV Land, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Hey Tavernities, put on your best grinch face and check out my guest post at Shit Movie Fest’s annual Shitmas special. Get ready to grump your way through every blasphemous Bundy Christmas – from a dead, splattered Santa to decapitated Nativity scenes!

JUST CLICK ON PEGGY TO GO THERE (or click this text)!

pic 4

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