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SUCK-ubus

Posted on Feb 28, 2013 in 80's Horror, All Reviews, Featured, Giant Turds | 0 comments

tavernofterror.comWe horrorfiends who grew up during the 80’s VHS boom are, much like the leading lady in today’s feature, afflicted with a sort of curse.

We remember the tantalizing box art of thousands of films we yearned to see as a child, particularly on those dusty horror shelves in the back of the old video shacks. Now, as adults, we hunt them down and are reminded, repeatedly, that the cover art almost always oversold the budget films they promoted. But still we search, hoping for the day we find that random copy of Three on a Meat Hook, House of Psychotic Women, Microwave Massacre, or Rocktober Blood, just because of the lasting spell of their old clamshells.

My latest such plunge into the septic tank of yesteryear comes in the form of the 1983 horror schlock Mausoleum, which I stumbled upon on a double feature DVD with Blood Song, as release from Exploitation Cinema (who hail themselves as grindhouse sleaze purveyors but still released Mausoleum here in its edited form).  But minor cuts aside; I was still excited to see this piece of retro trash, having been snared by the box art decades ago.

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PASS THE SOY SAUCE: A REVIEW OF JOHN DIES AT THE END!

Posted on Jan 18, 2013 in All Reviews, Best of the Best | 0 comments

tavernofterror.com

THE LATEST BOLT OF BEAUTIFUL MADNESS FROM THE MAN WHO BROUGHT US PHANTASM AND BUBBA HO-TEP!

Like most horror fans, I savor the bizarre.

While I love the camp value of wisecracking slashers and the comfortable familiarity of evil puppets in toilets, I am always far more interested in films that truly break molds and go where only underground books usually dare to tread. In today’s creatively inept world of remakes, re-imaginings, re-dos and reruns, it has become all the more difficult to weed out the shining jewels of originality that are pushed to the very back rows of exposure.

Leave it to cult genre legend Don Coscarelli to be rather silent for a decade after blessing us with Bubba Ho-Tep, only to break that silence with one of the most widely original films I have ever seen.

The important thing to me in writing a review of John Dies at the End is making sure it is spoiler free. Rest assured that, as a writer myself, I can’t stand the page-skipping types who want to ruin a creative craftsman’s hard work.  I actually knew nothing about the movie going into it, which was a difficult feat for a horror blogger. I even resisted the urge to watch the trailers because I wanted to go in as blind as I could.

Because when I heard that Coscarelli had a new movie in the works… man, that was all I needed to know.

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FLICKS GET KINDA CRAZY WITH A SPOOKY LITTLE TURD LIKE YOU

Posted on Jan 18, 2013 in All Reviews, Featured, Please Rewind: Revisiting My Youth, Surprisingly Good | 1 comment

tavernofterror.comYesterday I had a day off and a pile of old horror movies to sift through, when it dawned on me that I hadn’t done a Please, Rewind segment in a while. Horror fans that are my age (old) tend to dig nostalgia, and 80’s horror is what made me yearn to start a blog in the first place, so I thought doing a new rewind post would be a good way to kick off a whole new year of Tavern of Terror.

This particular pile of horror movies is a stack of never-been-released-on-DVD treasures I scored during VHSPS’s Black Friday sale. One of these gems was a movie I once owned on regular VHS. It was the year 2000 and all the video stores (remember them?) were jettisoning their VHS tapes to make room for DVDs, which had dominated the market. Former rentals were selling cheap, and when I saw a copy of the late eighties indie shocker Spookies sitting in the dusty bin I knew it was time to dig out some change from my pocket. I enjoyed revisiting that lost video boom turd, but then loaned it to some asshat who never gave it back. Obviously the friendship died and I never reclaimed my copy of Spookies. But now VHSPS has helped me with that tragedy.

Question: what happens when skilled special effects artists slap together a movie without skilled directors, writers or actors involved?

Answer: Spookies.

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PASS THE SOY SAUCE: A REVIEW OF JOHN DIES AT THE END!

Posted on Jan 15, 2013 in All Reviews, Best of the Best | 0 comments

tavernofterror.com

THE LATEST BOLT OF BEAUTIFUL MADNESS FROM THE MAN WHO BROUGHT US PHANTASM AND BUBBA HO-TEP!

Like most horror fans, I savor the bizarre.

While I love the camp value of wisecracking slashers and the comfortable familiarity of evil puppets in toilets, I am always far more interested in films that truly break molds and go where only underground books usually dare to tread. In today’s creatively inept world of remakes, re-imaginings, re-dos and reruns, it has become all the more difficult to weed out the shining jewels of originality that are pushed to the very back rows of exposure.

Leave it to cult genre legend Don Coscarelli to be rather silent for a decade after blessing us with Bubba Ho-Tep, only to break that silence with one of the most widely original films I have ever seen.

The important thing to me in writing a review of John Dies at the End is making sure it is spoiler free. Rest assured that, as a writer myself, I can’t stand the page-skipping types who want to ruin a creative craftsman’s hard work.  I actually knew nothing about the movie going into it, which was a difficult feat for a horror blogger. I even resisted the urge to watch the trailers because I wanted to go in as blind as I could.

Because when I heard that Coscarelli had a new movie in the works… man, that was all I needed to know.

Read More

WEEKLY HORRORSPHERE ROUNDUP: January 13th, 2013

Posted on Jan 13, 2013 in All Reviews, Sunday Horrosphere Round-Up | 0 comments

tavernofterror.com

We’ll we’re back after our New Year’s vacation. The holidays were a typical whirlwind for us as I’m sure they were for many of you. But now we’re back in the Tavern and ready to review more horror and guzzle more beer. We have an all new review ready to post this week, but we wanted to start things off with one of our more popular segments: the weekly roundup. Here goes the first one of 2013. Let’s see what grand horrors await us in the new year!

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FLICKS GET KINDA CRAZY WITH A SPOOKY LITTLE TURD LIKE YOU

Posted on Jan 13, 2013 in All Reviews, Please Rewind: Revisiting My Youth, Surprisingly Good | 0 comments

tavernofterror.comYesterday I had a day off and a pile of old horror movies to sift through, when it dawned on me that I hadn’t done a Please, Rewind segment in a while. Horror fans that are my age (old) tend to dig nostalgia, and 80’s horror is what made me yearn to start a blog in the first place, so I thought doing a new rewind post would be a good way to kick off a whole new year of Tavern of Terror.

This particular pile of horror movies is a stack of never-been-released-on-DVD treasures I scored during VHSPS’s Black Friday sale. One of these gems was a movie I once owned on regular VHS. It was the year 2000 and all the video stores (remember them?) were jettisoning their VHS tapes to make room for DVDs, which had dominated the market. Former rentals were selling cheap, and when I saw a copy of the late eighties indie shocker Spookies sitting in the dusty bin I knew it was time to dig out some change from my pocket. I enjoyed revisiting that lost video boom turd, but then loaned it to some asshat who never gave it back. Obviously the friendship died and I never reclaimed my copy of Spookies. But now VHSPS has helped me with that tragedy.

Question: what happens when skilled special effects artists slap together a movie without skilled directors, writers or actors involved?

Answer: Spookies.

Read More