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The Greatest Flicks I’ve Ever Seen

Posted on Feb 26, 2015 in 80's Horror, Best of the Best, Featured, Interviews & Guest Posts, Lists & Countdowns | 0 comments

bronson

Recently Tomeric of Guts and Grog did a staggering series of articles that listed his personal top 500 favorite films, which is a testament to the man’s passion for cinema. As a hardcore movie maniac myself, Tomeric asked me to do a guest post about what I consider the ten best films ever made.

If ever you’ve been curious about my opinion on the matter, you can check out the article here, cowboy.

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NIGHTMARES IN TV LAND: Roseanne!

Posted on Aug 10, 2013 in Featured, Nightmares in TV Land | 0 comments

BANNER-IMAGE

As many of you are likely aware by now, on top of being a huge horror fanatic, I am also a rabid fan of a few old TV shows, specifically Married… With Children, The Simpsons and All in the Family. With so much nerdy fandom swishing around in my head (along with all of that discount booze), it was only a matter of time before I envisioned an article that linked these two obsessions together somehow.

That is why, a few months ago, we brought you a new, weird segment called Nightmares in TV Land. It was part trivia and part before-they-were stars fun. The idea was to take some of yesterday’s beloved comedy programs and reveal their stars’ horror genre roots, as well as its nods and cameos.

We started off with Married… With Children, and Nightmares in TV Land proved to be one of our most popular posts ever.

So now we’re back with a second installment, and this time we’ve picked a show that I not only loved, watched and rewatched growing up, but a show that also has much, unashamed love for the horror genre.

Behold the terrors of…

ROSEANNE!

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SHOCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE

Posted on Mar 27, 2013 in 80's Horror, All Reviews, Featured, Surprisingly Good | 1 comment

Shock Em DeadMuch like Pat Boone was in 1997, I have been in a metal mood, and recently meeting Lita Ford just turned it up to 11.

Followers of my insane ramblings will surely know by now that I was self-fed a steady audio diet of hair metal as a young teen. That germinated into a death metal phase in my late teens, which then transformed into Nick Cave worship in my twenties. Now that I am in my mid-thirties I find myself drawn back to the music I loved as a thirteen-year-old aspiring vandal. There is something so fantastic about the 80’s hair metal era and the stadium-packing mania that came with it. It was rock n’ roll at its most decadent: filled with sex, drugs and hairspray. It was the most fun music has ever been, and it’s sad to me that the one long suicide note of alternative rock came in and ruined everything by September of 1991.

All we have now are the golden records of yesteryear: the pounding anthems of Def Leppard, the sex-crazed rollercoaster of Motley Crue’s hits, and the untouchable awesomeness juggernaut we call Judas Priest. Sure, we’ve still got our Bullet Boys and Danger Danger cassettes, but now they’re played on the “classic” rock station. But we still have the memories, still have the songs that our wives have helped us convert to MP3s (in my case, anyway), and we still have the occasional B-movie from that bygone era that aptly showcases all the liquid eyeliner, dry ice, and topless babes that made hair metal the rainbow in the dark we so fondly remember.

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NIGHTMARES IN TV LAND: MARRIED WITH CHILDREN

Posted on Mar 19, 2013 in Featured, Nightmares in TV Land | 3 comments

So as many of you are likely aware by now, on top of being a huge horror fanatic, I am also a rabid fan of a few old TV shows, specifically Married… With Children, The Simpsons and All in the Family. With so much nerdy fandom swishing around in my head (along with all of that discount booze), it was only a matter of time before I envisioned an article that linked these two obsessions together somehow.

Therefore, we now bring you our newest, weirdest segment, which we think is a lot of fun and hopefully you will too. It’s part trivia and part before-they-were stars fun. We’re taking some of yesterday’s best loved comedy programs and revealing their stars’ horror genre roots, as well as its nods and cameos, in our new segment…

TAVERNOFTERROR.COM

NIGHTMARES IN TV LAND!

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THE TOP TEN MOST ABSURD MONSTERS IN HORROR!

Posted on Mar 6, 2013 in All Reviews, CONTESTS & GIVEAWAYS, Featured, Lists & Countdowns | 49 comments

WIN A HORROR TEE OF YOUR CHOICE FROM T-SHIRT BORDELLO!

To celebrate our new affiliation with the delightful madmen at T-Shirt Bordello, we have teamed up with them to give away THREE FREE KICK-ASS HORROR SHIRTS. What I always loved about their designs is the creativity that goes into them. They aren’t just simple images from films; they are hilarious amalgams like the ones you see below:

Original Horror Shirts

 

With that incredible absurdity in mind, I chose to make a list of the top ten most absurd monsters in horror films. Keep reading to check out the list and find out how to enter the giveaway.

TAVERNOFTERROR.COM

Now, back to those absurd monsters…

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SUCK-ubus

Posted on Feb 28, 2013 in 80's Horror, All Reviews, Featured, Giant Turds | 0 comments

tavernofterror.comWe horrorfiends who grew up during the 80’s VHS boom are, much like the leading lady in today’s feature, afflicted with a sort of curse.

We remember the tantalizing box art of thousands of films we yearned to see as a child, particularly on those dusty horror shelves in the back of the old video shacks. Now, as adults, we hunt them down and are reminded, repeatedly, that the cover art almost always oversold the budget films they promoted. But still we search, hoping for the day we find that random copy of Three on a Meat Hook, House of Psychotic Women, Microwave Massacre, or Rocktober Blood, just because of the lasting spell of their old clamshells.

My latest such plunge into the septic tank of yesteryear comes in the form of the 1983 horror schlock Mausoleum, which I stumbled upon on a double feature DVD with Blood Song, as release from Exploitation Cinema (who hail themselves as grindhouse sleaze purveyors but still released Mausoleum here in its edited form).  But minor cuts aside; I was still excited to see this piece of retro trash, having been snared by the box art decades ago.

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